Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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