My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
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