ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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