i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders