hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
