I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
