I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
