I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
