the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize