I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Randomize
