Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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