Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize
