All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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