im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
