so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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