kristin has been a bad kristin
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
You may now shotgun with the bride
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
