The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
