no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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