he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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