i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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