phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
