dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
