Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
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