Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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