i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
