im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
