I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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