I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize