I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
