im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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