what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Randomize
