my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize