Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
