I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Randomize