Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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