I wish i was in the wii world.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
