What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize