And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
