i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
