just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Randomize
