he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize