I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize