he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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