do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
