She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
You smell like stripper and shame
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Randomize
