and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
