dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
