I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
