hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
