i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
