you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Randomize