It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
