Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
