just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
