I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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