He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
