me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
